my rear view mirror is my guide

there are times in my life when i know i am doing the right thing. i wake up in the morning and i know that i am on the right path. the signs are clearly marked and the tank is full....i am ready to go. however, there are also times in my life when i know i am NOT doing the right thing. i wake up in the morning and i feel like there is a gang of abusive gnomes dancin in my head. i feel foggy and unfocused. i search and search for something that fits and it's a bit of a pain in the ass when i realize i am a square peg searching for a round hole.

the problem with these times in my life *both good and bad* is that i never realize where i am until i am leaving. my rear view mirror is my guide. i need a reference point to gauge my life by.

so yeah, i feel bleh and i go blah blah blah.

to do or not to do

so i find myself in the middle of an employment dilemma. i currently have a mid-level retail management job at a major department store. i am a customer service person and i hate it. i don't mind the corporation so much as i am just sick to death of dealing with the people i work with. my supervisor is a completely narcissistic ass and if you aren't currently in possession of a penis, you aren't going anywhere above a certain level in our store. however, i have good benefits, a very flexible schedule, and i am finding, not too bad of pay. i am pretty much done with the b.s. in my store. almost every day i go into work and within twenty minutes i am pissed off. a majority of my friends are leaving and now i am looking too. i have been looking around and interviewing with a couple of places and now i have the afore mentioned dilemma.

i have an interview for an assistant manager position with a large home improvement store. the interview is aug 4th, the position is a salaried position with immediate benefits, profit sharing, stock options, and about $10000 more a year. WELL, today i got offered a position with a new place opening here in town. it's doing the same thing i am doing now, making about $.40 cents more an hour, good benefits, but they don't start for 90 days, with vacation not for a year. i would have to start on aug 13th. so my dilemma is this, do i take a position that makes only $.40 cents more and no vacation for a year just to be out of my store? what if i get the asst. manager job at the other place? i will have to accept or pass on this new position before i will know about that job. should i stay where i am on the off chance i will get the asst manager job? i have had two interviews already and at the next one i will have to take tests and go through a series of scenarios with regional managers. i have never interviewed for a job and not gotten it though. *sigh* whattodo whattodo

you may not know me, but your opinion is appreciated!

the man-god that is tom welling

i've spent a majority of my day watching smallville while pressing my hand against my mouth trying to convince myself that if i do in fact puke i will make it to the toilet. i threw up a little bit of stomach acid last night and have for the past 24 hours felt like there is nothing more in the world that i want to do than pukepukepuke. amazingly though..i dont feel bad really. i just feel like i am going to hurl the nonexistant contents of my stomach across the room in a fashion that would make linda blair blush. i could show that head spinning wench a thing or two.

so more about this phenom that is smallville. i have not seen this show before. how have i lived a life with cable and not been exposed to the man-god that is tom welling? he is a beautiful creature. a 28 year old, 6'3, dark haired, green eyed man-god. shame on you for not telling me he existed! i thought we were friends! i have made it through the first season in the past three days. mandy's not so on-the-same-page-as-most-people dad happens to have the first three seasons on dvd. he will only let us have one season at a time though. we must return the first one to get the second one. if mandy does not comply within the next 12 hours i shall be forced to go to plan b. and like all of my plan b's that route involves nails and string. if she knows what's good for her she wont make me break out the string!

reflections on 30

so this is me. it's so exactly what i have looked like for the past 100 years. apparently my contract is up though, cause i am starting to look a little older lately. i guess that's a good thing though. i am almost 30...well i will be 30 in about a year and some change. who would have thought i would turn 3o so soon? not me says the eternally maturity challenged chica on the left.

there are many things i want to say here in this place...but alas they are all more effort than i presently possess. i shall leave them for another time.