so i have to be honest, this whole katrina thing hurts me. i was in new orleans earlier this year and i fell in love with the city. i was planning on going back around christmas for a couple of days then we were planning on going to mardi gras next year. i see the pictures of the flooding and it looks like a foreign country. it just makes me sad. i can't hardly watch the news about it. i feel an unnatural connection to that place and the people there. i loved it....so yeah..im just sad it's so devestated.

i'm all better now

ok...ive thought about it for a little while and i think i have come to terms with being almost 40. in fact, i am more than ok with it. don't women hit their sexual peak in their 40's? that's definitely something to look forward to...and im still young enough to catch the tail end of the male sexual peak...so yeah, i think strictly from a biological standpoint, im alright with being somewhere in the middle.

now, a couple of days ago i told you i would introduce you to some of my favorite women of the blog world. i don't know these women in a we-have-sat-down-for-a-cup-of-coffee kind of way, but i know them in a it's-the-mundane-things-that-connect-us kind of way. they share all of the ups and downs that make their lives interesting and i read it like a novel with no end. i don't have children like most of them, i am not married like most of them, i don't live in utah *thank god!* or michigan or new york...i live in missouri. there is nothing that would seemingly make it necessary for me to take a front seat on their journey, but i do. and i thoroughly enjoy it. i appreciate their honesty, insight, and candor when it comes to things that i have no frame of reference for. i am going to talk about them like i know them and further more like they know me. while, obviously, i do feel like i know them, they do not know me. i am a casual observer, a fan, a groupie if you will.

so...for your reading pleasure, i give you part one of The Queens of the Blog:

Dooce - heather's is the first blog i started reading. i found it after reading an article about her. she was the first person to be fired from her job for things she wrote in her journal. her humor and honesty are what got me hooked. she gives it all to you, nothing is off limits.

Meghan - meghan is so amusing. she talks about her suburban life like it is a game of cat and mouse, sometimes she is the cat, sometimes she is the mouse.

Sweetney - her updates are hilarious and her links are so interesting. i have learned much from her time spent looking around the wonder that is the world wide web.

that's all for today...i have manymany more that i want to share with everyone. i hope you all enjoy these women as much as i have.

a long long long time ago

i was born. well, maybe it wasn't THAT long ago, but let me tell you, four days into my last year as a twenty-something it feels like it was. i am 29. tewnty-nine. thirty minus one. 40 minus 11. oh.my.god. 40-11. eleven years ago i was 18. eleven years from now i will be FORTY??? why oh why has this not occurred to me before now?? you should have told me! i am just as close to 18 as i am to 40. why do people not share this information? everyone gets so freaked out about being almost 30, but WE, THE ONES IN OUR TWENTY NINTH YEAR, ARE ALMOST 40!

i can not think about this anymore. i need a nap.

ok....so i have had a blog of some form for the past four years. but it has only been the past few weeks that i have really gotten into other people's stuff. it started with dooce, and really, who doesn't read that? then through links on her page i came to fussy, mighty girl, and sweetney and now i can't stop. i spend hours reading about other people's lives. i am addicted. i know you all went through this. i know you did. how else would you have found this little gem of a journal? i mean it's not like i've made a t-shirt, gotten fired for my blog, or have a wonder child. although....if ever discovered, i probably could get fired for some things i have posted on my other blog. i abandoned that one because it was infiltrated by two main characters in my story. it was a lesson learned.....never publish what you don't want read. i mean there is no guarantee, promise, or right to privacy when you put something on the internet. but i digress....i just mainly wanted to say that my list of daily must reads is getting longer and longer. i will make an effort to introduce you all to the people i am finding myself drawn to over the next few days. hopefully you will see in them what i did....real people with an incredible sense of self and the articulation to express that self in sometimes tear inducing humor.

my halloween plans

http://www.bandbuilder.com/vegoose/index.php?ref_code=F66318

you know you wanna go.

laugh of the week

what does snoop dog wash his clothes with?

bleee-aaach


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

that is some funny stuff right there! ble-ach...hahaha

i saw it on tv so it must be true

so i was watching Oprah today and man oh man....it was about hoarders....holy cow...i can so see myself turning into these people! i had a garage sale this past weekend and it was like giving my children away! i wanted to hug and say good bye to each and every little thing someone bought. i kept looking over my stuff sitting out there on that cold impersonal piece of plywood wondering what i could to do it to make it all fit into my life now!

i was once a collector of frogs....i know, it's pretty cliche, but i did it. i had so many cute little frogs...pictures of frogs, all things green were my friend. my whole house was in that pale asian theme that was soooo popular for a while. then....not so much. i started replacing the light oak with dark cherry. i replaced the light moss green with the deep reds and oranges. the frogs went the way of the dinosaurs, the bamboo disappeared. but i still held on to it all. it was in boxes, totes, piles around the house. so when i decided to have a garage sale i thought it was the perfect time to get rid of it all. but who knew i would have separation anxiety about my green plaid shower curtain?? i looked at that shower curtain for twenty minutes before i priced it. i kept thinking i would one day have a spare bathroom and i would regret not having my nice asian stuff. as if that is going to happen. we all know that once i let something go i dont ever look back. right ryan? right zan? right julie, wanda, and jenny? people, things, trends, once i get over it, i never pick it up again. so why oh why did i get a tear when that old smoker lady bought my favorite *five years ago* leopard print lap throw? and why did i tell that chunky woman that my favorite *last year* denim capris wouldnt fit her? i mean come on! that's just mean! luckily she bought them anyway. that three bucks was very well spent on my caramel macchiato later that evening.

so yeah...the moral of this story is this: sell that shit amanda! get rid of it all. you dont want to be an 80 year old woman with 200 cats!

A Three Hour Tour

Day 1
hours of sleep: 3.5
time of day: 6:55am

i was tired. i slept through my alarm and had approximately 25 minutes to shower, brush my teeth, apply daily war paint, find clean clothes, MAKE IT TO STARBUCKS, then to work.
*i tell you this only so you will understand how this story has three parts*

i was in the shower, just finishing the frantic rinsing of my hair, in mid swivel to grab the conditioner. out of the corner of my eye i saw him - a huge brown beast of a spider just sitting there on the ledge guarding my razor like a federal marshal with jeffery dahmer. *i say him because no self respecting she-spider could resist the urge to preen when stared at with such interest and wonder* so i do what any woman with three minutes and a waiting caramel macchiotto does, i turn around and face the shower full force and proceed to mach-speed finish my shower with one eye constantly on my foe. then i jump out close the shower curtain, rip it open again to see if said beast has moved, which it hadn't, and immediately forget about him in the mad rush towards caffeine and 8 hours of hell.

Day 2
hours of sleep: 4
time of day: 11:45 am

i was tired. i did the whole relay for life thing the night before and i was just tired. i jumped in the shower, frantic because i had thirteen thousand things to do before i went to work. i am in mid conditioner-grabbing-swivel and i spot him. out of the corner of my eye, just sitting there, guarding my razor like a knight with a castle under siege. so i do what any woman with thirteen thousand things to accomplish in one half of one hour would do. i give the full attention of one eyeball to my foe and mach-speed finish my shower. i jump out, close the curtain, rip it open to see if sir hairy legs has moved, which it hadn't, and immediately forget about him on my mad rush towards caffeine and the twelve thousand ninety-nine things left on my to do list.

Day 3
hours of sleep: 4
time of day: 6:45am

i was tired. i napped all damn evening last night and was then up until 2:30 this morning. i was just tired. i jumped in the shower, frantic because, damnit, i have to iron something to wear to work and i have no fucking idea how one goes about that task. so, im in mid conditioner-grabbing-swivel and i spot him, sitting there guarding my razor like a fat girl with her last cookie. so i do what any woman who hasn't shaved her legs in a week would do. i smash the fucking thing into oblivion. while i am standing there like the rock laying the smack down, i realize it shouldn't have been that easy. i shouldn't have been able to corner the beast who guards. i stand there, water rushing, and something clicks. THE DAMN THING WAS DEAD THE WHOLE TIME.

how could i have missed that little fact?

Fairly OddParents Makes Me Smarter

funstructive adj
something that is both fun AND destructive.

Going home with that guy last night was funstructive.

Yelling jihad at the National Right Wing Moral Majority Convention was funstructive.

Tom Cruise is funstructive.

Cartoons teach me many things. This word has officially become a staple of my vocabulary. I like it.

this is the place in which i live : Joplin, MO . i can not read it without feeling the blood rush to my head and hearing it boil in my ears. here is my response:

I am writing this letter in response to the "What is a Liberal?" editorial by Jim Bates on 8/01/05. I find it interesting that Jim defines liberalism as another word for socialism. The American Heritage Dictionary defines liberalism as a : “political theory founded on the natural goodness of humans and the autonomy of the individual and favoring civil and political liberties, government by law with the consent of the governed, and protection from arbitrary authority. “

Where in that definition is there anything that would lead to hating God or destroying the country? If anything liberalism is exactly what this country was founded on. We are a country founded on the belief that people deserve the chance to be who they are. There is no asterisk in the Constitution. We were not founded to be a haven for the moral majority. We were founded to be a place of freedom and that includes the freedom to chose, the freedom to worship without censorship, and the freedom to love freely. Wanting these things is not destroying the country; it is preserving it as it was meant to be.

So Jim, the next time you want to place blame for the downfall of the America you love so much, look in the mirror. It is people like you who spew hate and mistruths under the guise of morality, and with the use of fear, which have degraded this country. Give me one fact to back up your claim that I, as a liberal, am destroying America, and I will show a hundred more that prove how you, as part of the right-wing-moral-majority, are destroying the very thing this country was built on – freedom. Believing the White House is not the place to define God, love, or choice does not make me a communist, it makes me a true American, a liberal.

Signed,
Amanda Ritter
a God-fearing-America-loving-freedom-exercising-VOTING-liberal